Random Lessons Learned From Facebook

Do you have to have first hand experience to be called an expert?

I mean, I had teachers in engineering who had never been an 'engineer' but they were the best in the department.
Some great pediatricians never had a child, and we still trust them with our child's care.
There are political analysts who were never politicians, yet they help shape a nation with their thoughts.

Do we consider them experts, even if they do not 'do'? And if not, does that mean they are not entitled to their own opinion nor allowed to give their own piece of mind? Do we just block them off as fakes or posers?

I started this post as a quick Facebook status. Then again, I realized I have a few more things to say. And I want it here in my blog so my daughter can read this when she is older.

I laugh because a subtle argument in my Facebook feeds got me thinking about this. Well, my husband said it's not an argument, it's just boys trash taking. Fine. Price to the first person who can guess what it was about.

A couple of days back, someone posted that someone should stop pretending to be an expert when he is not even doing the same thing as the person he is giving his opinion on. Opinions from non-players are invalid because they cannot play. He is in the field so his and others in his status are the only opinions that matter. Comments were added to the effect that if they cannot do, then do not preach. Simply put, it was a call to shut up and stop giving your opinion if you are not an expert. And by his definition, experts are only those with first hand experience, hence my thought on my Facebook status.

So then I refreshed my newsfeed a few minutes after and there's a sort of answer to the first post. It says that a person can post whatever on his wall because it's his. No one can tell him to stop expressing his opinion just because he is not in the field. He may not be an expert because he doesn't play the game but it's something he loves and had been following all facets of it for decades. That gives him enough credit to know what he is talking about. So he is claiming his right to continue giving his piece of mind using his own level of expertise.

I was told not to mind and give a big deal about this. Well, I really don't care much about their arguments / trash talk. I just thought of a few random lessons I learned from these Facebook post.

Lesson #1: Respect other people's opinion

Not everyone is an expert. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinion. You may not agree and yours may be the opposite but their opinion is theirs. Respect that.

Lesson #2: Argue on facts, not on opinions

On a debate, be objective. Take the feelings out because that may cause you to spur words that can bite you back.
If you are not able to win them over, then it's not their fault, it's yours. Check if your arguments are valid. And even if it is, just let it go. Do not hold grudges just because you are not on the same boat.

Lesson #3: Learn true empathy

Mila may be too young to fully understand this word. As early as now, we are training her to understand others. Empathy is not just putting yourself in the other person's shoes. The problem with that is we have our predefined conceptions based on previous experience that you may react differently than him when put on the same situation.

Instead, look at the whole picture and analyze where the other person is coming from. Understanding is asking the right questions. Get the root cause of his/her actions and opinion so you can properly empathize.

Lesson #4: You are what you say/post

You share stuff on social media knowing that a lot of people can see it. It is but normal if others make their own opinion about it and about you based on what you show them. You may be judged. You may be applauded or you may be ridiculed. If you know your self enough, make sure you can stand for your words.

#milaOOTD: Oct 2014
Headband: DIY Bows from her 1st birthday party
Crop Top: ordered from IG (@gamyella_shop)
Shorts: old navy
Shoes: Mini Melissa replica 
I know these are very random lessons that may or may not be related to the Facebook feeds I mentioned earlier. It really just got triggered as I the conversation that ensued through comments and back and forth status posts.

Regardless of the back story, these lessons still hold true to me and Mila better learn them too.

29 comments:

  1. I agree with you. People really need to learn empathy and to think before they respond. It's so easy to forget it's another human reading the hurtful things someone has written.

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  2. Far too few people understand what true empathy is. They are so quick to jump all over that person before they even think about what they are saying.

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  3. You know how sometimes, on Facebook, they post little alerts or updates on the top of your feed? THIS should totally go up there! Rules 1-4 of using Facebook, and furthermore, of social interactions at all. Enough of all the nastiness!

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  4. I totally agree. Too many of us are quick to respond without really thinking that you could be hurting other people's feelings.

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  5. "Empathy is not just putting yourself in the other person's shoes." Perfect sis!! It's not enough. Kasi iba iba tayo ng values, beliefs, kinalakihan. Understand where the person is coming from. And no. You don't have to be an expert on something to say your piece.

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  6. Totally agree -- Facebook can become a place where people post what they're thinking without filtering it first. We really do need to be careful what we post!

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  7. These are all important things to learn. I love the one about the debate. I've learned that lesson the hard way.

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  8. Social media is one of those places where opinions run free. While I think people should post with tact and care, I think others shouldn't take to "heart" what is posted. Though those words can sting a bit, they mean nothing from strangers.

    Reginia Cordell

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  9. Great points here, especially about arguing facts and not opinions. I learn a lot just scrolling through my facebook feed, and mostly that there is a lot of drama lol. So I rarely get on my personal one anymore or my opinion may come out and offend people lol.

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  10. Arguing on facts versus feelings is something I strive for always! You can accomplish so much if you just take out your personal emoitions.

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  11. These are very important lessons that hopefully most people will take away from Facebook. Facebook is a good way to see how people really are. The world really needs more emphatic people.

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  12. It's just so easy for some to fall into a very judgmental mode, or pick up an air of artificiality. In all things, be true to who you are and don't change your values based on the mode of communication.

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  13. This is a great post! More people should live by these rules, if they did we would all be a lot happier.

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  14. Sharon Ulery RuggieriJune 15, 2015 at 10:15 AM

    Behind a screen people sure to get holier than thou. So little face to face contact, so little empathy. It's really sad and tragic how so many of us have forgotten to be kind and respect the opinions of others

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  15. We should all respect everyone's opinion. We won't always have the same thoughts and emotion as everyone else.

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  16. Facebook posts and comments made me really think as well. Ever since people learned they can comment anything they want, they do so. They often even use the "freedom of speech" to defend themselves without realizing that that freedom comes with social responsibility. People should really learn when to talk and when to not.

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  17. I agree. Your wall, your rules. People can always choose what they read so feel free to express yourself.

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  18. What's worst on facebook conversation is that people cannot have the same mind as yours. In a casual debate, there are still some people who have rough attitudes toward it.

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  19. if people only remember the Golden Rule... things like this wouldn't happen :)

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  20. The one thing I dislike about Facebook is that there are people on there who feel they are entitled to bash a person based on a posted status or photo. I don't agree with that at all. In the end, it's really all about respect for the other person and what they have to say.

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  21. I hate it when people assume and judge. :( It's sad that you don't give another person a chance to prove your assumptions wrong.

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  22. Michelle Co HuertasJune 22, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    I guess we should always check the rule of thumb, wherein, if you have nothing good to say..just keep quiet. Social Media can really be insensitive at times and by engaging in it, you should have the stomach for insensitivity.

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  23. Nowadays, there are a lot of people who irks me mainly because they show the world how they really are based on their posts. Some are nice in person but when you talk to them online, thru their posts, it reveals who they really are.

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  24. I agree with you, you are indeed what you post. I see people post their rants and dirty laundry on facebook and I feel really sad for them.

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  25. Channel ImperialJune 23, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    The number one lesson is very important. We will always have different views on certain topics and it'll truly help if we respect each others opinions.

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  26. makes a lot of sense, more people need to learn how to put themselves in the shoes of others.

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  27. Facebook is a nice tool to keep in touch with friends but we must also remember to respect their opinions.

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  28. I totally agree with all that you stated. What you post online reflects your own personality.

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